near death

Ok maybe the title will get you in and perhaps FOLLOW MY BLOG! I put up a cute little sign and everything. I know you all are reading though, and I appreciate it very much. However, my ego needs the follows. My soul needs to write. Can't we all get along?
 :-)

So, here is the near death as promised. As I was taking the auto egg turner out of the incubator yesterday, I dropped an egg. A duck egg. I quickly put it back in the incubator and did a little duck prayer energy light thing for it. So, tonight, I wanted to candle my eggs before I went on *lock down* and I checked the broken egg. That ducky is still alive. Phew. Now I need to keep it alive. More light, energy and prayers sent. Yes, I can pray and blog. You just missed the pause, while I visualized pure light embracing the egg and saw a good healthy duckling.  No big mystery. You can ask for what you want. God doesn't always say yes. But the asking... that is hope. Hope is the belief that things will work out. Hope sustains the spirit in the worst of situations. Hope does not have to come near death. Hope can be in the same place at the same time with joy. Because joy is hope, only manifested.

I hear peeping in the eggs. It is early for that, but my neighbor Shirl told me his banties always hatched before the others. Shirl is right about many things. He is a simple man. Not stupid, but he lives a simple life. He grows a garden every year, he has chickens, and dogs. He likes to hunt. He cuts and stacks his own wood. He keeps his property neat and tidy. He likes to talk. He is a faithful Christian, He lost his wife recently to cancer. He has grown up children and grown up grandchildren. He is alone most days, working. I see him sometimes during the day and try to catch his eye and wave. I want him to know I appreciate him. I know I have talked about him before. Funny, or interesting at least, I have way much more in common with him than I do with most people.Yes, so the banties are coming early. Everybody else is due to hatch on Tuesday.They are the itty-bitty cream colored eggs pictured below. Shirl didn't think they were fertilized, but he told me to give them a try. I cant wait to see him tomorrow.

most of the chicken eggs were on the turner, the duck eggs I turned by hand

Speaking of chicks... the president day chicks have decided they are big enough to do some free-roaming. During the bad storms that hit the South and came up here in WV, I had moved them to the little red barn. I knew that their temporary housing would not withstand fierce winds. They were confused, but seemed to adjust to the new surroundings. I kept them in there yesterday, because I was not going to be home all day. I like to keep a close eye on outdoor newbies. So today Rusty and I were trying to gather them and bring them back to the temporary run. Well, catching that many chickens proved to be difficult. One panicked cheep-cheeping from one chick makes them all panic. So we decided to just open the door and lead them up. Well, they found some fresh green grass and deep dark moist earth and happily began free roaming. They all stayed nearby and found the coop when they wanted to rest. Like they had been doing this all along! Meany pants, the Rhode Island Red Rooster chased the little chicks. The littles were from a hatch after the Pres Day chicks. So we caught only the young-ins and are keeping them within the safety of the run. The President Day chicks are now free roamers! Tonight is the first night closed up in the coop. Rooster is in the barn perched above Deer the goat's stall. She can take him. The knee bone is connected to the leg bone. So. of course the coop was moved to where I thought was a better place for my chickens. I am always re-arranging things.

Rusty got his portable electric fencing up for the goats so we can pasture them. Of course my buck got out a few times. No brain no pain. But my poor deer's first experience was licking the pretty yellow plastic that held the electrified wire. Zap. In the mouth! It was hard for me to see. She tested it out one more time, then stayed away from it the rest of the afternoon. It was hard to coax her out of the pen to go to her stall. Poor girl. But she has her own place to sleep and I have her food and fresh water waiting for her in her stall. She even had a surprise carrot in there. That eased my guilt. I am pretty sure she is with kid. I am watching her milk bag, as that will be the only sign to tell me she is near ready to give birth. I am hoping for a doeling. One buck is enough. I want the gentleness of the females and of course I want goats milk!

Speaking of goats. I have been talking to a really nice lady who breeds myotonic goats. She just had a doeling born and sent me the photo. OMG cute. Big ears and white with very light cream spots. Her mom is a beauty and I fell in love instantly. I hope she sells her to me. She has several nanny goats that are kidding and she might keep one. I need to write her and see how she is doing. Her, as in her and the goat.

I was going to go to the market to sell plants this weekend, but I think I will give some of my plants another week to mature. The ones that are planted in the garden have found their "legs" and seem to have perked up. I have seeded a bunch more Summer crops and they should be peeking up through the dirt soon. They are now in my warm sun room, germinating. I need a greenhouse. I am going to have one. Watch and see. Oh and there is two rows of carrots planted by moi.

The baby bunnies are growing overnight. They are four different colors. I am unsure of what to call the colors with the exception of one true blue. I will post their pictures up for my rabbit friends to have a look. They are so darn cute. Tiny bunnies, tiny ears and noses and feet. They no longer look like mice. Yoda, their Dad got to spend late afternoon into evening in the chicken run. I was so busy at the end of the day that I did not go to bring him in until dark. Usually he will hop away, not wanting to be caught and brought back in. But tonight, the sun was down and he was out there just still. He was not scared. Just still. Sort of in a bunny meditative state. I picked him up and told him he was a very good bunny and tucked him back in his cage for the night.

All is calm. All is well.

From wild and wonderful West Virginia I send you brightest blessings.
~crow

wild frog winds

A whole bunch of tornadoes are coming through the mountains tonight. My weather-girl powers are now activated. As I wrote in previous posts I have a little obsession with the weather. Well, more than a little. Probably a medium obsession. Okay it gets ugly sometimes.

Our weathermen here are not used to these sort of storms that produce tornadoes, straight winds or hail and the like. They are trying their best, but all show signs of nervousness and lots of  stuttering, sweating and apologizing. As a strong cell passed by one of the local TV stations I could actually hear it through the forecaster's microphone. On another station, the stations reports took cover and left only the one weatherman talking. They came back eventually. Then the news lady started asking dumb questions. The weatherman was trying to accommodate her, but there was so much activity and he was trying to warn people to seek shelter in certain areas. Yes, I was channel surfing for more data.

Right now I can see there is another major storm coming on the radar. I am on weather duty. Everybody else went to bed.

Deer my nanny goat is closed in her stall. I prepared for it earlier. The older chickens and my younger flock are in the small barn with her. The buck and the pig have the outer building. I left two rabbits in their hutches. They are super protected. I did bring in Tahoe, my doe who has the four kits inside to a freestanding cage. The babies just opened their eyes like, today, so now they can see Momma! Tahoe does not like it. Rabbits nurse their babies once or twice a day. It is very quick. Now they are following her and she suddenly finds herself being attacked by her own offspring! Imagine.

Another warning now...
Tornadoes in the WV mountains?

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I am back We lost our internet while I was writing this post. It has been off for a day or so. We made it through, with no damage. However, I am filled with a sense of sorrow for my neighbors to the South. Luck of the draw. That is how it happens.

I was going to write about a frog I found on my wall the night of the tornadoes. It must have come in when I had the window open, before the storm. I caught it with a mason jar and of course took a few pictures of it. Maybe it was a magical frog that kept us safe. Maybe it was just a frog. It seemed a bit magical at the time though. Take a look at the photos and decide for yourself.

radar frog

the law of three

thank you frog

How very precious life is.

~crow

bee girl

I sent a woman a link to my blog post: bunnies birds beer cans and bees who goes by Bee Girl. Here is what Bee Girl replied: , "Wow!!! Great pics... awesome blog... happy bees! Yup... you've got a whole lot of girls in there. The yellowish color soaking though is propolis, it's a bee "glue" or "cement" that they use to plug any drafts to keep their babies the per...fect temperature all year round. They will also use it to mummify any predators that get into the hive and can't get out after beeing stung to death. It is also being seen to "entomb" pollen that makes it into the hive in the bee's pollen baskets that contains a high number of pesticides. Propolis has antiseptic, antibiotic, antibacterial, antiviral, and antifungal properties, and humans use it in pill and tincture form to fight colds, flus, and fungal infections." 

Bee Girl is great. If you go to her facebook page, make sure you like her and check out her latest photo. It is stunning. She teaches beginning bee-keeping, consults, does hive maintenance, health maintenance, education, honey spinning, referrals, you name it. She has offered to help me get equipped before our hive gets moved from the house to hive boxes. I wish she lived nearby, or even someplace drivable, but she is in Oregon. Great for those of you out on the West Coast. I would love to hang out with her and see how it is done. Especially from somebody who is so enthusiastic! Her name is Sara, but I love to call her Bee Girl. She is a super hero in today's efforts to keep bees happy, healthy, and alive and educate others in the process. It is alarming to read about Colony Collapse Disorder. Bees pollinate many agricultire crops. Probably more than you know. So a super hero she is. She is the new Wednesday's Wild Woman, here at crow. Way to go Bee Girl! 

"The yellowish color soaking though is propolis" Bee Girl

 ~crow

goods

Yesterday in heart's desire I revealed that I have a *plan. I said, "I am content to continue on here". Here, meaning the physical. Here, meaning the spirit. Here, meaning what I manifested. Yes, I take all credit for my own happiness. I surely took the rap for everything else that fell apart around me. I made it easy for others to blame me, because I blamed myself. Even the blame that couldn't conceivably be brought on by any action or in-action I could have made.

Content, is not a dead end. I have found a certain ease at this phase in my life. It is probable there will be times I don't feel this way. Life happens. I get that. However, I am going to get while the getting is good. Not to be confused with getting good-er at getting good. One is about taking, and one is about receiving. Both are all about being grateful.

Here are my short term goals.

1. Get physically stronger
2. Obtain a breeding pair of Myotonic goats
3. Paint more
4. Prepare for a whole bunch of hatching fowl
5. Write more
6. Go on more adventures
7. Start a clean-up congregation for the Upper Bluestone River
8. Find a good EA buck
9. Support Sophia at the WV SS Fair (States)
10. Begin my rare or endangered livestock plan
11. Cook and clean more (half hearted about the cleaning)
12. Meditate more
13. Seed, plant, and grow more crops and herbs

Not necessarily in that order.

For now, that is my *plan. I think it is a pretty good list. Getting gooder at getting good and getting the good while the getting is good. Good enough. ~crow

thirteen

*plan may change at anytime for any reason

hearts desire

I have a plan.

How long have I had no plan, other than to just survive? My focus was to make it through. Nothing more, no grand plan. I was working hard to overcome. To get over it. To make sense of. Then I would rest and do it all over again.

I never thought  would make it here. Here, as in in the mountains. Here, as in having enough. Here, as in present in my body, and not caught in my mind, so my soul could settle and be settled.

If somebody asked you if you could do anything, no money constraints or any limitations... What would you do? Hearts desire. Can you name something?

When I was asked that by one of my spiritual teachers, I paused. I had never really thought about that. No holds barred? I think I gulped down some air with a nervous swallow and had no answer. I tried. I really did. But there was nothing that stood out in particular. I was too busy surviving to ever think about an idea as luxurious as that.

Fast forward to now. Here I am. Living my dream. I love the mountains. I love walking outside of my door. I love my old creaky house with the bathroom that is screaming to be remodeled. I love my children and my husband, I love my farm. I love each animal. The last couple of days as I went to feed and water everybody, I have stopped and just sat with the animals. I don't touch them or speak to them during these times. I just sit quietly and watch them. I absorb the energy they put out so effortlessly. Each one content to be here. Each one grateful. Each one in their bodies. Nothing but pure being alive. As I am.

It is quite simple. However us humans are always reaching for more. Something. Meaning, or stuff or money or recognition. Something. We want it.

I am at a place in my life where I can say without hesitation, that I am where I should be, doing what I should do. So ask me now Katy. I have an answer for you. It took a few years, but I do have an answer.

Yes I have a plan. To continue the same. Within this familiarity within my dream, is where I want to be. Content to continue on here.

~crow

there are lilacs here

bunnies birds beer cans & bees

I finished clipping down the rabbits today. We are having some warm days ahead and it is a good time to trim them and get them comfortable. It takes a long time. Their skin is so thin and delicate. You really have to be careful. I pretty much send a protective energy to the rabbit and then cut with a confidence that I will not harm the animal. The wool is unbelievable. It was windy in the afternoon and some of the cuts I was making were so short, that the wool blew into the mountainside like snow. I imagined all of the wild birds placing it in their nests. A perfect fiber to keep their hatching babies warm and safe. What a luxury for them. Soft angora bedding that looks like angel fluff.

As promised, I started cleaning my yard. It took longer than planned as I was on my own. I will probably hit it again tomorrow. Sophia wrote an invitation letter to her Uncle to join us for an Earth Day yard clean up. Too funny. I hope he does accept the invitation. I would like to plant some flowers up at that house. It used to be the barn, but was remodeled perhaps in the 50's into a home. The house has a gambrel roof and it is a sweet little house. I want to paint it barn red. It has better views than the main farmhouse but is the closest house to the road. Flowers are much prettier than beer cans. The neighbors might appreciate the change. Also the head of the intermittent stream that runs along the side of the property is up there. It collects road trash when the rain comes and the mountain weeps. Clean it up and let her breathe!

While outside, Sophia noticed the honey bees in our old Victorian next door. They were swarming. It is a huge hive. I can't see the hive, but there are hundreds and hundreds of worker bees. I swear it looks like honey is seeping through the clapboard. They have been here since we bought the place and we have let them be. At some point we will have to work on that house and the bees will have to be carefully moved by an expert. Once we get the boxes and equipment, I am sure I can handle it from there. I have wanted to be a bee-keeper.since I read The Secret Lives of Bees. I am going to go to bee-school.

click the photo to enlarge, then click the back button to return to crow

the old Victorian next to the main farmhouse

do you see them yet?

closer

closest

look right above the dark board patch

a two story 1800's home to restore

I swear that looks like honey soaked through

This is a video I tried to take with my el-cheap-o camera. One- I am holding the camera wrong. Two- you can't see the bees. I posted it because you can hear Sophia ask "What if they aren't honey bees?" She was scared. Then you here me whisper, "because Daddy said they are". A concrete confirmation of fact, since daddy is a biologist and knows everything. Before the video I told her she was safe. Honey bees are nice. They are nice. The last three still photos were taken later in the day. We went to check to see if the bees were splitting off. You could still see some bees busy. But not the number we had seen in the afternoon heat. Don't you love my spooky house?

Wild and Wonderful,

~crow

god's earth

It is Earth Day. What does that mean to you? Did you do anything or are you doing something perhaps this weekend?

Not that I am judging or anything. I really try to do my best not to judge. If I catch myself judging I stop and I call myself a stupid jerk. Just kidding. I do try to give myself the same kind consideration as I do other people, we are always harder on ourselves, much harder than anyone else could be. If somebody is hard on you, it is YOU believing them. Which is the same as being mean to yourself. I am doing my best.

Back to Earth Day. What a great holiday to have on the calender. I wish people would go all out like they do for Christmas. Imagine if people put that kind of energy into being good to the earth or going out and getting connected again to nature, to the earth. Instead of a month full of decorating and shopping, what if everybody took that month and picked up garbage and planted trees instead of cutting them down? Wouldn't Earth Day turn into the ultimate goodwill, warm and fuzzy holiday ever? I mean don't get me wrong. There are some great holidays all over the world during the time of the Winter Solstice. There are festivals of light all over the the planet. The birth of the Sun has been a very big deal from the beginning of time. Ancient man has celebrated the sun for ages. The sun and the birth of the sun, marked by the solstice was an powerful, good omen of one's survival. Man knew it was the beginning of the rebirth, soon there would be life again.

People in America do make pilgrimages to our National Parks, for example to the Grand Canyon, the Giant Redwood Forest or to the The Great Smoky Mountains. There is something very healing about being in the presence of such an amazing place. The feeling of how small you are, and how big and beautiful our planet is. Some people feel closer to God when they cast their eyes upon such grandeur. Some people feel more... alive. They are able to suddenly take a big breath, and feel the breath of life surge through them. All they can  whisper is... "wow".

Now, I live in what is called God's Country. From what I understand, that can mean a dominant Christian base area. It might perhaps mean an area so beautiful that it was blessed by God. I am not sure. I am not the person who made it up. However, being originally from NH, then MA on to FL and now living here in WV, I can say with some authority that the number of churches out number schools, or stores, or fire stations, comparatively. There is a church at every corner. I am not kidding. I can see one from my house, perched up on a hill. A Methodist Church, it has been here probably longer than my house. Since the mid 1800's. It is the norm. here. People from here are not surprised at any of this. I don't think people even think about it as odd. It is the culture, a Christian culture. God's Country. When I first moved here three years ago, I would meet people and the conversation would go like this: Chatting away all friendly-like, then I would say, "Yes, my family and I are new here". The other person would then immediately ask, "What church do you go to?" Me, "Oh we haven't really picked one." Other person excitedly goes on to tell me about there church and into details about how great it is and how I should come this Sunday with my family. It doesn't occur to them that I might not be a Christian! I could be Jewish. I could be Buddhist, Islamic, or something other than Christian. I mean there are other religions. I would never assume to know where or how somebody may or may not worship. I stopped telling people I was new, because I suddenly felt like fresh meat at a lion convention! I couldn't believe it. It was so odd to me. But as I settled in and got to know the people around here, I found that they were not lions, they were very kind and loving and just trying to share their own joy and their own truth. Some Christians proselytize because it is how they worship. To spread the good word of Jesus Christ. I get it. How can I be mad at that? It just felt so invasive at first. I did not grow up around here.

I grew up in NH where I did live on Church Street, but that because there were churches on that short street Two churches. But the rest of the streets had regular names and there were not so many churches! My mother worked as an OB RN in a city hospital in MA. She was quite liberal I think. (She is a republican now.) I mean, she gave me a black barbie doll in the 1960's! Not because it was on sale, I think. Anyway, she helped Mothers from every ethnic, economic and religious sector give birth . She went on to be a Midwife in her 50's. Go Mom! She also raised five kids by herself after my father took off and disappeared. No child support or help with birthdays or anything. Anyway, there is a picture of where I came from. I was exposed to an open mind. Now, we went to a Christian church. It was the rebel Church that broke off from the one next door. Go figure. She made me play the piano and had my brothers and sisters sing in front of the church for Christmas! Horrifying. But we did it. I went to "Church Camp" up in the White Mountains, where the counselors played guitar and had longer haircuts and sang great tunes like Cat Steven's Morning Has Broken. Gosh, I love that song. We hiked and made baskets and had fun. It wasn't about being saved. It wasn't about hell, or sin. I don't ever remember being afraid of going to hell. That wasn't taught to me. There was no fear, only love. So, I think at some point in my young life, I equated God with Nature. Nature was God to me. Still is. I will talk later about that. Stay tuned.

Flash-back! Funny, and related? I do remember this; one day in Sunday school I asked the teacher, "How do you know the Bible is telling the truth? I remember her pausing I remember her face, and the look of her having trouble answering. She was one of my Mom's friends. I can see myself sitting in the church basement, looking up at her and questioning the bible. I don't have many clear memories, but that one is crystal clear. I remembered her answer too. When she stopped saying "um uh", she said "because these stories have been passed down for a long time." I am not sure she was believable enough for me at that age.

So, back to Earth day. I look at it as a holy day. A day that people stop and think, "let's do something for the earth!" Let us worship the planet we live on by being generous to it. Not fake peace signs and hippy-chic stuff. I mean a HOLY day. I do not want to just worship today. I want to do this everyday. I organized a trash pick-up day 2 years ago at a city park that had so much garbage in it. It still does. We barely made a dent. Why? I advertised it in the paper, got the word out, I even had sponsors! However, the only one people who showed up were two of my friends and my family. But we made a dent.

I drive along the Bluestone River every day. When we have Spring and rain flushes the garbage, it is scattered along the river beds, and roads. People throw garbage out their windows too. I am talking to you lady at Wendy's who ordered a iced tea and then threw her receipt out the window as you drove off. Yes, I know you ordered a Ice Tea because Rusty got out of the car and picked it up. Somehow my own property seems to get specks of garbage. The dogs, the kids (Brittany and Caleb) Private joke. lol Tomorrow I am going to clean up my land as a holy ritual. I am also going to start a club or a group that's main concern is keeping our part of the Bluestone River litter free. That will be my prayer. Now I will need to find a congregation. Sure. But, I really do think this is important enough for people in God's Country to keep it as such.

I wish you a blessed Earth Day. Anyway  you have decided to celebrate it.
~crow

Cafe Cabbage

It's the real thing

This bud is for you.

Morning has broken like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for them springing fresh from the world

Sweet the rains new fall, sunlit from Heaven
Like the first dewfall on the first grass
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden
Sprung in completeness where His feet pass

Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning
Born of the one light, Eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God's recreation of the new day

Morning has broken like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for them springing fresh from the world