Interesting that I pick this age to become a farmer woman. It would have suited me better when I could lift with abandon, and be limber enough to climb, and jump, and run fast. My old knees and back wont have it. Stupid genetics, or whatever.
But perhaps the timing might be perfect. Of course it is.But I still I have a need to place everything out in front of me, only to be able to bring it all back in again. It was always there, I just have to see it. Examine it, talk about it, and then I am done with it. That is why I am here talking. I guess that is where my mind is tonight.
It is ok to be old. It is ok not to be able to break out my superpowers in a physical manner. Because when I am forced to slow down, even just a little, I find that it is not about the product, but more about the process. I am processing. Just have a seat and wait while I process.
Now when I move, I do it carefully and thoughtfully. I might think things through before diving in and doing it the hard way. My limitations are actually bringing on new talents. Forethought. Even though it can get in the way of my spontaneity, I feel like I am sort of new again. Somebody did hit the restart button while I wasn't looking at it in that longingly way.
That is the cool part of getting older. Fricken epiphanies galore. My eleven year old was talking today and talked about how she has them, epiphanies. She asked me if I knew what they were. (New concept for her, it must be for me too, right?) I said, yes I know what they are. Smiling to myself thinking I think I am having one right now! Epiphanies at eleven!
Children are both the time keepers of how fast life goes by, and they also have the ability to stop the clock in a freeze frame. Like tonight, My oldest daughter, twenty, and her fiance came over for dinner tonight. We ate, laughed, debated, and read tarot cards. Just like when she was little, and she still is. She is petite and has long blond curly locks, and is fair skinned with blue eyes and rosebud lips. People ask her if she is old enough to work at her job. She always makes sure she says "I love you Mommy" before she goes off with her new man. ::sigh:: I was just her age what seems like just a year or so ago.
Then I catch a glimpse of me in the mirror again. Crap. Old.
I still have the twinkle in my eye of my youth, but I now know how to use it.
|special twinkle superpowers activated|
|powered down for the night|