Monday, April 18, 2011

note to self

As I type this tonight, I will be stopping to take a bite of a thick fresh baked brownie followed with a cold milk chaser. I don't think I have tasted a brownie this good in years. I didn't bake it. It was baked by Rusty and delivered here to me. Life is good. Like right now this minute. I choose to savor this moment of chocolate bliss. No need to feel guilty, no need to worry, no need for anything but bite, chew, taste, pause, gulp, and a cold milk river that flows all the way down to my stomach. Right now there is nothing better than right now.

I have never been one to limit myself. Life sometimes puts limits on what I can do, but it doesn't mean I have to do that to myself. People make such crazy rules for themselves. There is deal making, for example... If I do this, then I can have that. How can one enjoy being in the moment when there are limitations and inner conflict going on? The more you tell yourself you can't have something the more you want it. Right? How about easing back a little. Take a big step back from the "no elbows on the table" rule, or "don't color outside of the lines" mentality, and instead just be

What does just be mean? It means that you wiggle your toes and roll your foot around in circles, then the next foot. Stand up and stretch. Stretch like a cat, or a dog, or stretch your arms up to the sky. Take a deep breath in and let it out again. Watch the stress go away in your minds eye, like a puff of smoke. Watch it billow away. Wiggle your toes again. Feel better? I bet you do. Just a deep breath can do it. It is like a stress eraser. People forget to breath. While you were doing all of that wiggling and breathing you also learned how to just be.

You can do that anywhere and apply it to anything. If obsessive thoughts come calling again, and they do... just rinse and repeat. It doesn't always have to be wiggling toes or chewing a brownie slowly. It can come from anything you are doing. I find watching my hands works wonders as I go about my day. Fingers are amazing. if you watch them long enough. When you start watching and feeling what you are actually doing, instead of being a floating head. A cool sort of vibe will come along. Pay attention to the vibe and roll in it. Just be.

I worked in the garden today. Digging in dirt both literally and figuratively certainly does get one grounded. Nature is not separate from you. YOU are nature. You are fulfilling a primal necessity. Don't have dirt? Or perhaps you might live in a city, just take your shoes off when you get home and pay attention to how your feet feel. Is the floor cold? Does it cool down your tired feet. Or perhaps you have a rug. Does the rug feel soft or does it have a texture to it? Can you run your foot over the carpet and get a free massage? Try it now. Or not. I am trying it out and would love to have company.

So you are probably wondering if I am high about now. No. I don't need it. I would rather be present. Although, I know that some people feel like they do need to drink or get a buzz in order to just be. Cheating! Ha-ha! Your body craves for you to quiet that brain traffic and lower your heart rate for a little bit. Just a nice little awake rest. The more you do this in small ways, the more you can take it out there... in the world. You will notice you are keenly aware of your surroundings, sounds, sights, smells and of course, other people. Not just how people talk or what they are wearing, but their energy. Slight nuances, the way they smile, or the way they look away. When you are in this "state" of awareness, try not to expect anything but goodwill. Don't face the world in fear. Just face it. Try not to judge. That is your brain kicking in. It kicks in like that to protect your ego. Yes, ego. "Oh, I don't have a big ego" That was your ego talking, and mine too! Don't get stuck there. Go back to goodwill. Project the goodwill. Your realty is how you perceive it. Choose the positive perceptions. If somebody is rude, forgive them. You don't know what is going on in their life. Maybe they are hurting. Give them that gift. Give yourself that gift. There is no winning or losing. Let it go. Just be.

And for those people who have pets. You know how to let go. When you are petting your animal and saying to him, "Good boy!" or "Are you hungry?" or "Did you get in the garbage again?". They are not speaking to you back. However, they are giving off a certain energy. You are able to "get it" because you pet has already disarmed your brain. They are looking at you with only goodwill. Notice the word goodwill is so very close to the words, God's Will. So just look at your boss like your fluffy pet rabbit, and have a decent day. What are your other options?

The more you practice this, the better you will feel. Sure we all hit rough patches in our life. I have lived through my share. It doesn't have to stick. Do you hear what I am saying? You are free to be.

All of this ramble is inspired by a brownie! It is my note to self. This blog is in it's entirety, is a note to self.
Life is good. ~crow


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