Monday, September 19, 2011

flying the coop

I have been waiting to blog about my company that traveled from SC to here in WV.


I had to wait for her to fly. Fly home to freedom. Fly away from a life that was not in tune with her spirit. I was probably one of her biggest cheerleaders because I knew how it felt... to feel trapped in a life situation that was not enhancing the growth as a human, or the well being of body, mind and spirit. For me it was an abusive and toxic relationship that I exited.

I advised her to fly, but she had already begun. The moment she found out she had wings. And fly she did.

Many women get stuck in relationships where they are stuck. I am not talking about the seven  year blues in a relationship, and finding the time to be reconnected with you husband. I am talking about women, for whatever reason, get into a relationship where they have lost their authentic selves in a dominating male partner. Women who stay, because the fear keeps them there. I am including all sorts of fear.The fear of being alone, to the fear of retribution, and from the fear of the unknown, to the fear of hurting their children. They remain silent and hurt. It is not good for them, their children or their partners. It is not for the good of society as a whole.

I came from a generation where I was taught to be polite, to do what I was told, and to not confront or protest. A time where when if a woman showed anger, or complained, or said what was on there mind, they were labeled crazy, ungrateful or bitchy. It still happens. But perhaps the next generation of our empowered daughters will learn from their Mother's boldness. To watch their elders face the fear and go ahead and fly anyway.

Men get stuck too, and lose themselves in a relationship, histories, or even a job. But I can only write from my own perspective and experiences. I am not forgetting you guys. We all carry our own baggage, we all get stuck, and we all feel fear.

Back to my visitor. She drove all the way up here to place her precious ducks and geese with me. Lovely Indian Runner ducks including a breeding quad of trout color and a trio silver girls to go with my silver drakes, a beautiful white breeding trio, along with a couple of special needs ducks that are penciled colored. Along with the four geese, a very nice Brinsea incubator and all the tools to go with it, feed, feeding trays and some nice warm farm jackets. She packed her truck, called a friend and drove all the way here, to simply give me her flock.

She had already sent me duck eggs to hatch. Gifts sent to somebody she had never met. She had already showed me how far a random act of kindness can ripple out to the world, and she had already taught me to receive. To get good-er at getting good. Tough thing for most of us. To receive, and then say simply thank you in return. It takes as much grace to accept a gift as it does to give one. I had to learn that again. Then when she offered to drive here, and hand me a large part of her life, I could only feel humble. It was hard, because I knew what she was giving up. I knew that she must have been in a bad place to make such a drastic change.

I told her when she listens to her higher-self, that voice is the one who will lead her towards her highest and best good. I told her because I believe it. I reminded her as she gave away her horses, her mule, a cat and her beloved pet dog. I reassured her that everything that happens in life leads us along our own paths in life. Even the really tough times. I told her because I truly believed that she was listening to that higher voice, and I know it will all make sense some day.

That is how it happens. Have you ever heard a cancer survivor be thankful for that life altering event? They  go on and treat life as a sacred treasure. They have gone and found their wings. Yes, that is what I am talking about. All of our experiences bring us to where we are now. It is not an easy road sometimes, but the tougher the journey, the more value in the lesson. People get well seasoned with life lessons. You can see it in their eyes, if you ever want to stop and look. People find happiness, not because they are simply blessed with it. They have actively gone and searched for it. The blessing is in the act of seeking.

My friend, reminded me of all of that. She made a bold move. Her journey was not easy. That is what makes me so sure that she is going to find her own happiness. Because when you take a leap of faith, land on your two feet you realize that you can indeed fly. You are free.

Nicky, I am glad you are home in your Motherland. You are further away in miles, but closer in heart and spirit. I think of you every day. I must thank you... this time, for this lesson in bravery.



  1. You bring up some excellent points and I agree that one of the keys is keeping each experience and incident in perspective. The whole of one's life is so much more than a string of circumstances, but it's difficult to remember that sometimes.

  2. Ii'm so glad that you are ok. As time passed since your last post I began to wonder if there was turmoil in your own life. So glad you are ok.

    I understand your thoughts on a male-dominated life all too well. Oddly what give ME strength to fly that coup was that my son was learning how he should treat women and my daughter was learning what she deserved. Their 'deserving better' was the catalyst.

    I am miserable at asking for help or accepting gifts though I love to GIVE both. Just yesterday I turned down private yoga lessons because I didn't know how to say 'yes please'. I did find out when she works next and will reverse that decision. I truly believe my new diagnosis is there in part to help me become a better me and this is one of the areas it's got some work to do :-)

    I hope your friend is ok and that you post an occasional update on her. I bawled like a baby that she had to give away her dog in order to fly and pray that they both will be ok. hould either of you ever need anything
    xoxox Linda

  3. A beautifully written post, with a wonderful message. Much love.

  4. Wondeful of you to be there and offer your support and experience.

    It does take an enormous leap of faith and courage to do what she is doing - just getting prepared for it is a struggle. Beleiving it is right and not just selfishness.

    It happens to guys too, trust me, to realise one day that your stuck in a rut, an unrewarding job / career, unhealthy relationship, wrong location. All wrong...

    She's lucky to have such a friend...

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  6. What a heart stirring post, your friend is blessed to have such a caring friend like you, on her side, I wish her the best...

  7. You truely are a wonderful woman Crow. Thank You from the bottom of my heart. xxxx

  8. the hardest thing to do is to step back and look objectively


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