I finished clipping down the rabbits today. We are having some warm days ahead and it is a good time to trim them and get them comfortable. It takes a long time. Their skin is so thin and delicate. You really have to be careful. I pretty much send a protective energy to the rabbit and then cut with a confidence that I will not harm the animal. The wool is unbelievable. It was windy in the afternoon and some of the cuts I was making were so short, that the wool blew into the mountainside like snow. I imagined all of the wild birds placing it in their nests. A perfect fiber to keep their hatching babies warm and safe. What a luxury for them. Soft angora bedding that looks like angel fluff.
As promised, I started cleaning my yard. It took longer than planned as I was on my own. I will probably hit it again tomorrow. Sophia wrote an invitation letter to her Uncle to join us for an Earth Day yard clean up. Too funny. I hope he does accept the invitation. I would like to plant some flowers up at that house. It used to be the barn, but was remodeled perhaps in the 50's into a home. The house has a gambrel roof and it is a sweet little house. I want to paint it barn red. It has better views than the main farmhouse but is the closest house to the road. Flowers are much prettier than beer cans. The neighbors might appreciate the change. Also the head of the intermittent stream that runs along the side of the property is up there. It collects road trash when the rain comes and the mountain weeps. Clean it up and let her breathe!
While outside, Sophia noticed the honey bees in our old Victorian next door. They were swarming. It is a huge hive. I can't see the hive, but there are hundreds and hundreds of worker bees. I swear it looks like honey is seeping through the clapboard. They have been here since we bought the place and we have let them be. At some point we will have to work on that house and the bees will have to be carefully moved by an expert. Once we get the boxes and equipment, I am sure I can handle it from there. I have wanted to be a bee-keeper.since I read The Secret Lives of Bees. I am going to go to bee-school.
click the photo to enlarge, then click the back button to return to crow
the old Victorian next to the main farmhouse
do you see them yet?
closer
closest
look right above the dark board patch
a two story 1800's home to restore
I swear that looks like honey soaked through
This is a video I tried to take with my el-cheap-o camera. One- I am holding the camera wrong. Two- you can't see the bees. I posted it because you can hear Sophia ask "What if they aren't honey bees?" She was scared. Then you here me whisper, "because Daddy said they are". A concrete confirmation of fact, since daddy is a biologist and knows everything. Before the video I told her she was safe. Honey bees are nice. They are nice. The last three still photos were taken later in the day. We went to check to see if the bees were splitting off. You could still see some bees busy. But not the number we had seen in the afternoon heat. Don't you love my spooky house?
It is Earth Day. What does that mean to you? Did you do anything or are you doing something perhaps this weekend?
Not that I am judging or anything. I really try to do my best not to judge. If I catch myself judging I stop and I call myself a stupid jerk. Just kidding. I do try to give myself the same kind consideration as I do other people, we are always harder on ourselves, much harder than anyone else could be. If somebody is hard on you, it is YOU believing them. Which is the same as being mean to yourself. I am doing my best.
Back to Earth Day. What a great holiday to have on the calender. I wish people would go all out like they do for Christmas. Imagine if people put that kind of energy into being good to the earth or going out and getting connected again to nature, to the earth. Instead of a month full of decorating and shopping, what if everybody took that month and picked up garbage and planted trees instead of cutting them down? Wouldn't Earth Day turn into the ultimate goodwill, warm and fuzzy holiday ever? I mean don't get me wrong. There are some great holidays all over the world during the time of the Winter Solstice. There are festivals of light all over the the planet. The birth of the Sun has been a very big deal from the beginning of time. Ancient man has celebrated the sun for ages. The sun and the birth of the sun, marked by the solstice was an powerful, good omen of one's survival. Man knew it was the beginning of the rebirth, soon there would be life again.
People in America do make pilgrimages to our National Parks, for example to the Grand Canyon, the Giant Redwood Forest or to the The Great Smoky Mountains. There is something very healing about being in the presence of such an amazing place. The feeling of how small you are, and how big and beautiful our planet is. Some people feel closer to God when they cast their eyes upon such grandeur. Some people feel more... alive. They are able to suddenly take a big breath, and feel the breath of life surge through them. All they can whisper is... "wow".
Now, I live in what is called God's Country. From what I understand, that can mean a dominant Christian base area. It might perhaps mean an area so beautiful that it was blessed by God. I am not sure. I am not the person who made it up. However, being originally from NH, then MA on to FL and now living here in WV, I can say with some authority that the number of churches out number schools, or stores, or fire stations, comparatively. There is a church at every corner. I am not kidding. I can see one from my house, perched up on a hill. A Methodist Church, it has been here probably longer than my house. Since the mid 1800's. It is the norm. here. People from here are not surprised at any of this. I don't think people even think about it as odd. It is the culture, a Christian culture. God's Country. When I first moved here three years ago, I would meet people and the conversation would go like this: Chatting away all friendly-like, then I would say, "Yes, my family and I are new here". The other person would then immediately ask, "What church do you go to?" Me, "Oh we haven't really picked one." Other person excitedly goes on to tell me about there church and into details about how great it is and how I should come this Sunday with my family. It doesn't occur to them that I might not be a Christian! I could be Jewish. I could be Buddhist, Islamic, or something other than Christian. I mean there are other religions. I would never assume to know where or how somebody may or may not worship. I stopped telling people I was new, because I suddenly felt like fresh meat at a lion convention! I couldn't believe it. It was so odd to me. But as I settled in and got to know the people around here, I found that they were not lions, they were very kind and loving and just trying to share their own joy and their own truth. Some Christians proselytize because it is how they worship. To spread the good word of Jesus Christ. I get it. How can I be mad at that? It just felt so invasive at first. I did not grow up around here.
I grew up in NH where I did live on Church Street, but that because there were churches on that short street Two churches. But the rest of the streets had regular names and there were not so many churches! My mother worked as an OB RN in a city hospital in MA. She was quite liberal I think. (She is a republican now.) I mean, she gave me a black barbie doll in the 1960's! Not because it was on sale, I think. Anyway, she helped Mothers from every ethnic, economic and religious sector give birth . She went on to be a Midwife in her 50's. Go Mom! She also raised five kids by herself after my father took off and disappeared. No child support or help with birthdays or anything. Anyway, there is a picture of where I came from. I was exposed to an open mind. Now, we went to a Christian church. It was the rebel Church that broke off from the one next door. Go figure. She made me play the piano and had my brothers and sisters sing in front of the church for Christmas! Horrifying. But we did it. I went to "Church Camp" up in the White Mountains, where the counselors played guitar and had longer haircuts and sang great tunes like Cat Steven's Morning Has Broken. Gosh, I love that song. We hiked and made baskets and had fun. It wasn't about being saved. It wasn't about hell, or sin. I don't ever remember being afraid of going to hell. That wasn't taught to me. There was no fear, only love. So, I think at some point in my young life, I equated God with Nature. Nature was God to me. Still is. I will talk later about that. Stay tuned.
Flash-back! Funny, and related? I do remember this; one day in Sunday school I asked the teacher, "How do you know the Bible is telling the truth? I remember her pausing I remember her face, and the look of her having trouble answering. She was one of my Mom's friends. I can see myself sitting in the church basement, looking up at her and questioning the bible. I don't have many clear memories, but that one is crystal clear. I remembered her answer too. When she stopped saying "um uh", she said "because these stories have been passed down for a long time." I am not sure she was believable enough for me at that age.
So, back to Earth day. I look at it as a holy day. A day that people stop and think, "let's do something for the earth!" Let us worship the planet we live on by being generous to it. Not fake peace signs and hippy-chic stuff. I mean a HOLY day. I do not want to just worship today. I want to do this everyday. I organized a trash pick-up day 2 years ago at a city park that had so much garbage in it. It still does. We barely made a dent. Why? I advertised it in the paper, got the word out, I even had sponsors! However, the only one people who showed up were two of my friends and my family. But we made a dent.
I drive along the Bluestone River every day. When we have Spring and rain flushes the garbage, it is scattered along the river beds, and roads. People throw garbage out their windows too. I am talking to you lady at Wendy's who ordered a iced tea and then threw her receipt out the window as you drove off. Yes, I know you ordered a Ice Tea because Rusty got out of the car and picked it up. Somehow my own property seems to get specks of garbage. The dogs, the kids (Brittany and Caleb) Private joke. lol Tomorrow I am going to clean up my land as a holy ritual. I am also going to start a club or a group that's main concern is keeping our part of the Bluestone River litter free. That will be my prayer. Now I will need to find a congregation. Sure. But, I really do think this is important enough for people in God's Country to keep it as such.
I wish you a blessed Earth Day. Anyway you have decided to celebrate it.
~crow
Cafe Cabbage
It's the real thing
This bud is for you.
Morning has broken like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for them springing fresh from the world
Sweet the rains new fall, sunlit from Heaven
Like the first dewfall on the first grass
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden
Sprung in completeness where His feet pass
Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning
Born of the one light, Eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God's recreation of the new day
Morning has broken like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for them springing fresh from the world
Old macdonald had a farm ee-i-ee-i-oh and on her farm she
had a chick (easter chick)
ee-i-ee-i-oh
with a chick chick here
a chick chick there (in wild violets)
here a chick (tertra tint)
there a chick (araucanas)
everywhere a chick (second batch asst. reds blacks)
chick
old macdonald had a farm (obama)
ee-i-ee-i-oh (meany pants crowing)
Feel free to continue the song... It is about time I have updated photos of our farm family. Everybody is growing and are happy it is Spring. Including me.
big beautiful mean rhode island red rooster free roams
penny w missing feathers from meany pants piggy-back riding her
tetra always in the lead when I call
president day chicks are in the dog house
a comfortable temporary home until they get big enough to roam and be in the coop.
As I type this tonight, I will be stopping to take a bite of a thick fresh baked brownie followed with a cold milk chaser. I don't think I have tasted a brownie this good in years. I didn't bake it. It was baked by Rusty and delivered here to me. Life is good. Like right now this minute. I choose to savor this moment of chocolate bliss. No need to feel guilty, no need to worry, no need for anything but bite, chew, taste, pause, gulp, and a cold milk river that flows all the way down to my stomach. Right now there is nothing better than right now.
I have never been one to limit myself. Life sometimes puts limits on what I can do, but it doesn't mean I have to do that to myself. People make such crazy rules for themselves. There is deal making, for example... If I do this, then I can have that. How can one enjoy being in the moment when there are limitations and inner conflict going on? The more you tell yourself you can't have something the more you want it. Right? How about easing back a little. Take a big step back from the "no elbows on the table" rule, or "don't color outside of the lines" mentality, and instead just be.
What does just be mean? It means that you wiggle your toes and roll your foot around in circles, then the next foot. Stand up and stretch. Stretch like a cat, or a dog, or stretch your arms up to the sky. Take a deep breath in and let it out again. Watch the stress go away in your minds eye, like a puff of smoke. Watch it billow away. Wiggle your toes again. Feel better? I bet you do. Just a deep breath can do it. It is like a stress eraser. People forget to breath. While you were doing all of that wiggling and breathing you also learned how to just be.
You can do that anywhere and apply it to anything. If obsessive thoughts come calling again, and they do... just rinse and repeat. It doesn't always have to be wiggling toes or chewing a brownie slowly. It can come from anything you are doing. I find watching my hands works wonders as I go about my day. Fingers are amazing. if you watch them long enough. When you start watching and feeling what you are actually doing, instead of being a floating head. A cool sort of vibe will come along. Pay attention to the vibe and roll in it. Just be.
I worked in the garden today. Digging in dirt both literally and figuratively certainly does get one grounded. Nature is not separate from you. YOU are nature. You are fulfilling a primal necessity. Don't have dirt? Or perhaps you might live in a city, just take your shoes off when you get home and pay attention to how your feet feel. Is the floor cold? Does it cool down your tired feet. Or perhaps you have a rug. Does the rug feel soft or does it have a texture to it? Can you run your foot over the carpet and get a free massage? Try it now. Or not. I am trying it out and would love to have company.
So you are probably wondering if I am high about now. No. I don't need it. I would rather be present. Although, I know that some people feel like they do need to drink or get a buzz in order to just be. Cheating! Ha-ha! Your body craves for you to quiet that brain traffic and lower your heart rate for a little bit. Just a nice little awake rest. The more you do this in small ways, the more you can take it out there... in the world. You will notice you are keenly aware of your surroundings, sounds, sights, smells and of course, other people. Not just how people talk or what they are wearing, but their energy. Slight nuances, the way they smile, or the way they look away. When you are in this "state" of awareness, try not to expect anything but goodwill. Don't face the world in fear. Just face it. Try not to judge. That is your brain kicking in. It kicks in like that to protect your ego. Yes, ego. "Oh, I don't have a big ego" That was your ego talking, and mine too! Don't get stuck there. Go back to goodwill. Project the goodwill. Your realty is how you perceive it. Choose the positive perceptions. If somebody is rude, forgive them. You don't know what is going on in their life. Maybe they are hurting. Give them that gift. Give yourself that gift. There is no winning or losing. Let it go. Just be.
And for those people who have pets. You know how to let go. When you are petting your animal and saying to him, "Good boy!" or "Are you hungry?" or "Did you get in the garbage again?". They are not speaking to you back. However, they are giving off a certain energy. You are able to "get it" because you pet has already disarmed your brain. They are looking at you with only goodwill. Notice the word goodwill is so very close to the words, God's Will. So just look at your boss like your fluffy pet rabbit, and have a decent day. What are your other options?
The more you practice this, the better you will feel. Sure we all hit rough patches in our life. I have lived through my share. It doesn't have to stick. Do you hear what I am saying? You are free to be.
All of this ramble is inspired by a brownie! It is my note to self. This blog is in it's entirety, is a note to self.
Life is good. ~crow
I am thankful for paint. All colors and all types. For the wall paint that allows me to turn my home into a living changing canvas, for the aged paint that is layered like some romantic story on my antique furniture, for the oil paint that makes the stairs feel cool on the bottom of my feet, and of course for my art paints that hold the mystery in their colors, the freedom in their texture and the endless possibilities they present to me every time I hold the brush and take that deep breath before I begin.
Thank you paint.
And for the canvas I wrote this many years ago...
Canvas
I know you are blank
like a freshly starched shirt
waiting to be worn about
I can see you
propped up against
the buffet table
In your cellophane wrapper
I splurged
and brought you home
remember? I chose you
to come into my 900' house
24"x36" of life
primed and acid free
in medium texture duck
What is that you say?
I know I know
I haven't forgotten
the colors tell me that too
Just begin
I told you I know!
and you know what stops me
yet you keep repeating it
Tell me more canvas
not about your frame
or your staples
tell me what it is
you see that I don't
tell me, sing to me
call my name louder
guide me to the next
The beat of my soul
the whisper of ancient
villages and swirls
howling wolves
blue moon woman
our language
we speak
quietly softly
loosing time
gaining the unspoken wisdom
Tell me again
No, just don't tell
be with me
rectangular and curved
dark and light paint
all of it
rise in me
and sing again
perfection is not
with us today
Thank you paint.